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#129389 - 11/07/03 07:59 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Power Poster
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,548
Southeast
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OK barflies. Here's one for the road. I'm outta here. Have a good weekend.
This is a detective story...so pay CLOSE attention!!
Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first Cubs baseball game. They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniel's into the ball park.
The game is real exciting and they are enjoying themselves
immensely, mixing the Jack Daniel's with soft drinks. Soon, they realize that the bottle is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.
Based on the information given above, what inning is it and how many players are on base?
Think!
Think some more!
You're gonna love it....
Answer:
It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded....
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Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reason.
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#129390 - 11/07/03 08:06 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 6,153
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Uncle Milty--For verification purposes, can you tell us the story about the time a naked (or nearly naked--I can't remember which) lady appeared on stage during the taping of your show? Actually, I shouldn't have said "taping" since the show was live.
Last edited by zaibatsu; 11/07/03 08:07 PM.
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#129392 - 11/07/03 08:15 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Power Poster
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,992
Soaring over Georgia
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Well thanks a lot, Czargazer. Why'd you have to go and do that?
Oh, well. I've got lots more that I bet you can't figure out, but you'll have to wait until you meet me in person. That wasn't mine, anyway - I was just borrowing it.
Dawnie, I really enjoyed meeting you in person! Sorry to hear about your travel troubles. I only had a two hour drive to get home - no flight.
Last edited by MagicBanker; 11/07/03 08:17 PM.
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Jim Bedsole, CRCM, CBA, CFSA, CAFP
My posts - my opinions
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#129393 - 11/07/03 08:15 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 6,719
PA
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Quote:
You could have called it "Take a CIP" ("Where everyone knows your name, street address, ID number and Date of Birth")
Ted,
That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! That line has BOL e-card written all over it!
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#129395 - 11/07/03 08:21 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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10K Club
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,766
Turnpike Exit 10
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That was very funny!
Hey, didn't I hear that Dawnie resurfaced somewhere? Dawnie, oh Dawnie! It's Friday again! madams wants to hang out today!
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain
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#129396 - 11/07/03 08:22 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Power Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,455
The Pennant Race
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Just saw the new sign! I was hopin to come in for a drink. I remember Joe Namath guaranteeing a Jets win in the 1969 Superbowl. And my first TV memory was a little boy in a blue coat saluting his daddy's casket (John-John was a month younger than me). Good enough? If so, I'll take a double Glenmorangie on the Rocks. And send Alice over with a menu... I missed my lunch today at a BOL webinar!! 
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#129397 - 11/07/03 08:24 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 6,153
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Quote:
Quote:
You could have called it "Take a CIP" ("Where everyone knows your name, street address, ID number and Date of Birth")
Ted,
That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! That line has BOL e-card written all over it!
e-card--that's fine, just be sure to pay Mr. Clean the royalties.
Dawnie--you look kinda rough after a week behind the BOL bar. Why don't you go upstairs to the penthouse and freshen up. Tiny's brother Minutia will let you in once he hears the password. You do know the password, don't you?
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#129399 - 11/07/03 08:32 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Gold Star
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 304
Midwest
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I could sure use a Killians or maybe a Heineken.....
Let's see...how to prove my age...well I took my almost 18 year old son to traffic court today. How about my receipt for having paid his fine? Would that work for ID? That would prove that I have a 17 year old son....and unless I was 4 when I gave birth (in which case I would be rich and not having to work for a bank and resort to virtual online beer) it would show I am of drinking age......
It's been a long week.........
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If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.
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#129400 - 11/07/03 08:37 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Gold Star
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 273
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I am old enough to remember watching the original Lone Ranger and Tonto in black and white. I also saw the young heartthrob, Richard Chamberlain (Dr. Kildare) in person at a local July 4th parade in Baltimore. I'll just have a glass of Chardonney please.
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#129401 - 11/07/03 08:56 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Power Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 5,184
All over the map.
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Quote:
Belly up to the bar and join the discussion. The topic was started by Cliff Claven, who snuck in while Tiny was in the bathroom. (Note to Mr. Clean: Buy some air freshener.) The topic is Cheesiest Movie Scene. Here are some suggestions: Cheesiest Movie Scenes
Come on Kong, forget about me! This thing is never going to work, can't you see? Jessica Lange to King Kong, 1976
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On the road again.....I just can't wait to get on the road again.
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#129402 - 11/07/03 08:59 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Platinum Poster
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 975
first lily pad on the right
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I need something to liven me up. It's been a long week here too.
I am old enough. I lied to my parents and told them I was going to see Star Wars for the 10th time and went to Grease instead. They wouldn't let me go to Grease because I was only 5. Oh, and my sisters used to shove me into the hatchback part of our Volkswagen Rabbit on road trips so I would fall asleep. No car seats or seat belts used back then!
Can I join you guys?
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#129403 - 11/07/03 09:05 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,678
United States
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Well, since we have to make tiny laugh in order to get in, here you go, Tiny. Jokes
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#129406 - 11/07/03 09:23 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Gold Star
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 382
Way Out West
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Allll Riiggghhhttt!!!! It's after 4,,,time to get this joint hoppin!!! What do I have to do to get the 25 lookers to start postin to this forum???? Shoot holes in the ceiling???? Somebody get Dawnie and Maria on the bar and give us a little ankle. Piano player,,,you better get bangin on those keys----NOW!! Mr. Clean mix up some of them wontons that will peel some paint off the walls. Tiny, go upstairs and get Miss Kitty down here and let's start having some fun. Mr. "C" ---A BIG shot of red-eye with a cold beer chaser,,,,,Please.
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#129407 - 11/07/03 09:28 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Posts: 6,153
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Ok, for those of you who first posted before 11 am (your time), its time for the breath test before you drive home. So, line up: Breath Test Excuse the pop-up, but it got by Tiny and is hiding in the bar.
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#129408 - 11/07/03 09:28 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,357
A Grant Wood painting.
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pbrinker,
I appreciate your taste in Scotch. Does Alice still own that resturant?
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#129409 - 11/07/03 09:34 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 6,153
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Quote:
pbrinker,
I appreciate your taste in Scotch. Does Alice still own that resturant?
You can get anything you want there, 'ceptin' Alice.
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#129410 - 11/07/03 09:40 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 624
Texas
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I am a little late, but at least I showed. SOMEBODY, had to disrupt a perfectly good Friday by presenting a Check 21 Webinar!  Well worth the effort I might add! I can only think of a few stories that tell my age, so I'll give one a try....My friend and I used to ride our bike to this huge house that we thought was a mansion at the time. We would sit at the bottom of the long drive way for hours waiting for someone to come out. We were convinced that it was the secret home of Tony Orlando!  If I remember correctly, it was the yellow ribbons tied around the huge trees in the yard that made us believers. We never did see him, although one time she went by herself and said that she did  I believe I was in 4th grade at the time.....  I just never could figure out why he would want to live in Tyler, Texas!? Can I please, please have a Hurricane ????
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#129411 - 11/07/03 09:44 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 624
Texas
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Lil's picture ID Just in case I brought my ID.....
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#129412 - 11/07/03 09:44 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 546
The New Loft Chamber
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Quote:
Welcome everyone!!  I'm so glad Tiny loves this trip down memory lane, don't forget that Tiny also loves to have a good laugh for others trying to figure out how to get in  !
My memory lane includes watching the original Johnny Quest cartoon on Saturday mornings.
For a laugh, how 'bout I sing: The Redneck’s Love Song
Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
It's a new troll'n motor!!
What do you say? Am I in?
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J. Bruce
"A man in a kilt is a man and a half!"
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#129413 - 11/07/03 09:52 PM
Re: Welcome to Cleabatsu's
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 672
New England
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Apparently they ran out of duct tape on the one plane that was flying to Alaska. My options...provide them with some of my own duct tape at a reduced cost...or wait til they found some...OR fly another airlines. I had first class...so I waited...STUPID! Heh heh, glad I'm off work a week to catch up on jet lag again!
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