There's a new bar in town!! Your virtual host is none other that Mr. Cleabatsu. Yes it's true, Mr. Clean and Zaibatsu have decided to open up together to accomidate all our BOL fans.

Let me start off by telling you about some specials we have in house today:

Today's music choice is none other than the Ultra Smooth: The Blues Brothers Briefcase Full of Blues http://www.towerrecords.com/product.aspx?pfid=1016807

Today's Cocktail Special: The Classic Martini (yes extra olives will be available )

Today's appetizer: Mr. Clean's homemade Spicy Wontons (I won a cooking contest with these bad boys)

The Friday frivolity game: Quarters (Hey Z start pouring those shots will ya?)

Happy hour prices will be available until 7:00 pm central time

Z and I had a lengthy chat about our strict 21 and older policy. You will be asked to present your ID at the door by our Bouncer (Tiny ) if you cannot produce your ID you will need to prove your disclosed age to the BOL crowd for approval in order to stay. The funnier you are the more likely we will let you stay ! And please don't touch or tease Tiny; he's a very sensitive fellow....

Mr. Clean, can I score a gig as the in-house bar magician?

Magic- I was hoping you would offer your services!!

Today's entertainment : MagicBanker- King of Illusions!!!

Quarters will be the game of choice. Not that I condone out of control drinking, but I can't stop our customer's from doing what they please--and Mr. Clean has sanctioned it. Anyone appearing to have had too much will be asked to call their Regulator for a ride home. Here are the rules: Quarters

Because I double as both a co-owner of this bar and its legal counsel, I need to get a couple of ground rules established:

1. If you have appeared to have spent too much time in Cleabatsu's, you may be asked to take a sobriety test. Refusal to take the test will result in an automatic examination by your Regulator. You may want to avoid this embarrassment by doing this simple self-test:

Sobriety Test


2. Mr. Clean already mentioned the ID. If you cannot provide adequate ID, you will be sent to the Tea Room owned by our very own Miss. Vickie Temperence:

Temperence

3. We strongly encourage designated drivers. If you will be spending some time at Cleabatsu's, but are the designated driver, you will not be ousted for inebriation. You must let Tiny, at the door, know that you are the designated driver. Designated Drivers are expected to spend money at Cleabatsu's--no freeloaders or lurkers. To apply for designated driver status, please proceed to:

Designated Driver


4. If everyone in your party intends to drink, please give Tiny your keys (Don't worry, he's not going anywhere with your car--there is no way this hulk of a man could fit into your Porsche convertible--hey, this is imaginary, might as well drive a nice car!) Those parties choosing to turn in all of their keys to Tiny, will be given a ticket for a free cab ride home with the Reverend Jim:

Taxi

Bottoms Up!

Mr. Clean--

I would be pleased to have the services of the Magic Man, but Tiny informs me that we have not seen hilarious evidence of his age. If he can't remember break dancing and moon walking, he can't get into this bar. Magic, what's your proof of age??? Tiny wants to know! He grows impatient quickly.

Here's my picture ID. That's me on the right performing in June with the Landlady of this establishment. Note the color of the hair! Is that enough to get Tiny off my back?

Well, well, well, what have we here? A new watering hole!
How very cool. Well, last week I needed that taxi to get home, hopefully today I'll behave myself ( rigghhtttt... ).

So, my $20 is on the bar, I would like a nice spicy bloody mary for breakfast; and I'll try the drink special (ummmm), after 12 pm eastern time.

Thanks.

Oops, I forgot the photo ID

Well Maria, while I don't like to question a Woman of your caliber about her age; your devil does appear to look rather youngish (about 19 to be exact) perhaps you could verify your approximate age some other way?

Do you remeber when Animal House came out? Did you see it in the theater?? (Be creative I say, or Tiny gets very excited: and then he might piddle on the floor )

Maybe a quick trick will bring in some customers. Check this one out.

I don't know Mr. Clean, if Tiny's not laughing, the ID must not be valid. We need some creativity! I'm not sure anyone has passed the test to get your barkeep services. Of course, you have the authority to overrule Tiny. What do you say?

OK, Magic Man, Tiny has decided that no one under 21 could have pulled of that color trick. You are in!

Wow, I'm so proud of you guys. I would love to help with musical entertainment by selecting the band for the week if you would allow me the honor. Let's start with a little Audioslave. I would like to have Champagne and Orange Juice for breakfast and some of your wonderful wontons. Spicy food 24-7 is my motto, well one of them anyway. I have a tatoo, will that work for ID? I tried to link a picture to this post, but am not smart enough to figure that out. What do you say, can I come in?

Morning! How about hot tea with brandy for this wintery morning? (It's all the way down to 43° and rainy here!)

Oh, and my ID.... ID

I'm the one with the flower.

Sorry elena-stopped by a login screen . Looks like you will need to try another way to prove that age. How about a funny story about the past????

Well, in 1981 I was a Catholic School-girl on my way to the Bishops Ordination in Dallas when I was side-tracked by a Rolling Stones, ZZ top, & Fabulous Thunderbirds concert. To this day, my mother thinks I was at the Ordination. And getting away from the hawk eyes of Attila the Nun was no easy feat.

I'll take a mimosa for breakfast thanks! No photo ID but I remember when Tiny Tim and Miss Vicki got married. Does that count?

The only other thing I can say is that I saw George Thorogood in concert in 1982(U od D-go Blue Hens!). So I must be at least 21.

Just the fact that she knows my hometown band the Thunderbirds, is good enough for me. No 19 year old would have even heard of them. However, just one more test--what was their one MTV hit (hint: it wasn't Tough Enough although they did play that a little bit)?

Tiny tells me that Louvera is in. Though he wants to know if Louvera knows the show on which they were married.

Thanks, I can't believe I'm laughing at myself this morning. If Tessa Beth ever tries anything like that....in 20+ years I probably won't know about it either. This is my kind of place!!!

Z-Was it "Move it on over"??
EDIT:
I thought Z was talking to me... I am not crazy (I keep telling myself that).

EGB- your ID was clearly a fake , but Tiny was reading another thread and LOL about Junebug's new ID RolliePollieBug, come on in !

Louvera- I'm sorry you had to remember such a thing so early in the morning; let me pour that Mimosa for you!!

Maria- You good taste in music demands entry!! Get in here !!

Pretty nice in here...hey Tiny, get your hands off my wallet ... can't you see my BOL picture...does someone under 21 have a head that large???? ... ok here's my proof... when I was in college in Colorado, I started a betting pool with my dorm mates on Who Shot JR ... then, I waited until right when the epsiode started to make my guess; of course, that was after I called home where the episode had aired an hour earlier, found out who shot JR, and then collected my winnings (I did fess up an give everyone's money back)... ok, enough of that, Tiny ... MC and Z, I am only working a half day today, so pour me two bloody marys with 17 olives in each!

Z, Could it have been Wrap It Up, or Stand Back?