I am an Ox. As in Paul Bunyon.

Ranked as the second zodiac, the ox is huge. In life, people often used it to indicate something big in size or large in number. It is persistent, simple, honest, and straightforward. Fractious people are said to have an 'oxen temper'.

I guess that is why I treat the cooler as a china shop.

“A shipment containing 5,000 containers of Greek yogurt was supposed to be delivered to the U.S. Olympic team, but the Russian government blocked it because they said they didn't fill out the required paperwork. Once again, the Russian government is doing everything they can to repress live and active cultures.” -- Jimmy Kimmel

I watch Maury Povich because I really want to know who the father is.

One can always tell "white trash" - even when said white trash is pretending not to be white trash.

This frosting is making my teeth tingle.

Hannibal Lecter said it best:

You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well-scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed? Pure West Virginia. What's your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you … all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars … while you could only dream of getting out … getting anywhere … getting all the way to the FBI.

MSG!!!

BTW, I really, really, really wish that fizzy lifting drinks were real.

I'll bite: what'a a "fizzy lifting" drink??

I'm so glad ^^^ asked!

Haven't you ever read (seen) Charlie (Willy Wonka) and the Chocolate Factory????

Haven't you seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? Read the book?

Sheesh!

You drink and it makes you float, then you have to burp to get down or you'll get chopped up by the fan!

Um, no, i've never seen nor read Willie Wonka.

Me neither.

Well, you'd better be careful or a vermicious knid will get you!

^^^
Sheltered lives.

Whatever a vermicious knid is...

<<<---ain't skeered.

You should be.

Let's give Joker the "special" gum!

I googled 'them'...they seem to come in all shapes and sizes...but the scariest ones I saw formed the letters C.R.A!

Special gum? Do tell. Will it allow me to see pretty things that are not there? Will it allow me to fly?

The IRS and CA Franchise Tax Board accepted my electronic tax filings the other day and now I am just waiting for my refunds!

::keeps looking up account balance::

That's exactly what Ralph the Oompa Loompa said just before he got Wandgdoodled!!
Where in the wide wide world of Everlasting Gobstoppers have you lived and never seen Willy Wonka!?!?!? ::Gasp::

In the swamp?

There is a great slot machine using the original characters of Willie Wonka. Bonuses include oompa loompas and a ride down the chocolate river.