I have been overweight my entire adult life. In 2006 I looked my best, got down about 60 lbs from where I am now. Today, I am the heaviest I have ever been. I am also the happiest I have ever been. I am married to a wonderful man, who I met later in life - and who loves me for who I am - fat or not. Unfortunately, that has not helped in this department.

I also am in a lot of pain. In my 40's, I already am suffering from arthritis due to my weight and some bad genes too. SOOOooooooo.... I need 2013 to be the year I get into shape. But, I feel like it's such a long road and maybe I am afraid of failure? Lord, help me...... Any words of wisdom/advice?

Eat right and get some exercise every day, and just don't expect overnight miracles. The "eat right" part is important. Avoid "diets." Make a permanent change in what you eat. Avoid bad fats. Eat fruit and veggies. Learn portion control. (A steak that I used to eat in one sitting will now feed my wife and I for two meals.) And then get moving. Walk around the neighborhood. Ride a bike.

Just take it slow. If you make lifestyle changes instead of crash diets, you'll be please with where you are a year from now.

you didn't get overweight overnight, and losing that weight isn't going to happen overnight. If you eat poorly, then you need to get the foods out of your house that aren't good for you. Quit buying chips, soda, sugary cereal, switch to wheat bread, wheat paste, drink 1 ounce of water for every 2 pounds you weigh DAILY, take the stairs instead of the elevator, park in the farthest spot whenever you shop. Don't look at it as "i want to lose X punds" instead think "i want to get in better shape and feel better, be more healthy." if you have a scale in yor house, throw it away. Ask your husband for his support and encouragement. Find a partner to workout with, it is harder to tell someone else no.

Anything you do to improve your health can't be considered a failure, so put that out of your head.

B you are on the right track. First, you have taken ownership for the issue. You can't fix it till you own it. I wont even train people that tell me their weight problem is everyone else's fault. It wastes their money and my time. You have taken responsiblity for your issue. Now you can fix it.
You got the problem gradually over time, and that is just how you will fix it...over time. And that's ok, because you have time.
Do not allow yourself to think of this in the short term. It's not a diet and its not a 90 day program. It is a lifestyle change. You will have to re-educate your family and friends because while they will supprt your efforts, they will also try to derail you. Not out of malice, but because it is human nature.
I would very much like for you to find a picture of a physique that you would like to emulate. Pick something with your basic frame. If you are 5' tall, dont pick a body that is 5'10". If you are thick and muscular don't pick a toothpick. And pick what you like, not what you think everyone else will like. Visualization works!
Anyone that tells you that you can get into shape without discomfrot or pain is selling something. You have to sweat and you will get sore. And thats ok!:)
Eating is 70%-80% of this. You will need to learn a new way to eat. So that means so will your family. Better eating is not suffering! Its just learning tastey ways not to poison yourself.

Basics -
Exercise 30-60 min. everyday. Run, walk, aerobics, calesthenincs, something!
Do not skip meals...ever!
Drink water! (soda, even diet, just left your life)
3 meals is better than 2, 4 is bettter than 3.

I also insist on a "cheat day". From Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon, i want you to eat anything you want. But the rest of the week, you stick with low fat, high protein and NO sugar.

There are some genius's on this web site that love to help people, use them.

Good luck and welcome to your life!

How does that saying go... "Fat and happy?" There is some truth to it. But, imagine how nice it would be to find yourself "fit and happy"!! You'd have the best of both worlds. It is wonderful that you have a loving and supportive husband. This means you can get out together and do things as a couple that are fun and physical! There's no need to run a 10k together (but maybe you will some day!), but make a point of getting out and taking walks together, maybe riding bikes together, taking cooking classes for healthy meals together, etc. See where I'm going? All these things will change your lifestyle to one that not only benefits your waistline, but your marriage.

In my household, we cut the cable TV. It may sound drastic, but it was the best thing we ever did. We get out together more and actually enjoy each others company rather than vegging out in front of the boob tube. When we do watch TV, it is with purpose, like to watch a movie we've both wanted to see.

So, take small steps to improving your overall lifestyle to a healthly lifestyle. You will be amazed at how much happier you can be from your happy self now!

I see people at the Y who walk on a treadmill as such a slow pace they never break a sweat. I wish they would look around the room and see what others are doing. There are some ladies that must be in their 70s that are sweating every day. They're very fit, and I admire their commitment. You have to get your heart rate up and breathe a little harder.

Look up some info on target heart rate for exercise, and use a treadmill or elliptical that will measure your pulse. Or get a watch that monitors your heart rate. Don't overdo it, but get into that range that will improve your fitness.

I love this advice! How many times have I started exercising just to step on the scales and get discouraged because I am gaining weight instead of losing it? I am going to try to eat right (fruits and veggies and lean meat) and exercise daily whether it's 30 minutes or a hour doesn't matter just commit to doing something daily. Stop worrying about the number on the scale and focus on how I look and feel! Thanks for the motivation , I needed this today!

One other thing that I have found to be very successful....
Food journal's! For at least a few weeks, write down everything you eat or drink and how much of each.
It has two effects.
1. you will see what you actually eat. For most people it is a revelation.
2. It helps to curb your eating because you dont want to write it down.

I almost passed out calculating the suggested water consumption...I multiplied instead of divided the first part and needed either 33 or 34 glasses of water a day!

Sure was glad I realized what I'd done! I'm quite sure I surpass the recommended daily dosage.

To help with water consumption, I recommend buying a nice water bottle that will hold 16-32oz. of water. This will help you keep track of how much you are drinking, and help you drink more without having to get up and fill an 8 oz. glass every two minutes. I used to sip ice water, and rarely finished a glass. Now I CHUG cool water (from the fridge dispenser) a few cups at a time. Drinking lots of water helps you feel fuller longer, helps clear food from your teeth, and keeps your breath fresher. Water is hugely important, and was the best change I ever made to my diet.

And yes, BB1 is right, say goodbye to soda and potato chips. ( )

Agree with ^^^. We have a water cooler here at work and you can easily drink way more without the ice or extreme cold of 'ice' water.

Water bottle follows me everywhere I go, I'm a bit "known" for having it with me at all times. It's flown with me, gone on all my vacations, always around. 24 oz, at least 4 per day. Plus coffee, and anything I have with meals.

It's a lot

I used to pretty much ONLY drink iced tea...very sweet...nowadays, it's so rare I don't even remember how to make it myself. And, if I do get some, it's got to be half/half...can't stand the straight up southern sweet tea anymore.

Now beer..well...that's another story entirely.

I really appreciate everyone's input... and I will continue to read any others. I was afraid I was going to get some typical responses... because I have known for a long time I need to change my eating habits and move. But many of your were inciteful and encouraging and acknowledged it's not an overnight soluction and I REALLY appreciate it.

I know my biggest challenge is not thinking of the whole picture and struggling through the lack of instant results. I need to remember the baby steps and not give up when I get frustrated.

My biggest issue with my weight gain has been eating with my son and husband who are both 6'4" and big guys... and I think I started eating more like them. I have to remember I am 5'5" and do not have a man's metabolism!

I like the suggestion of throwing away the scale. We have a wellness program at work, and they measure a bunch of things, like blood pressure, waist size, lung capacity, but they never bring a scale.

I too like the suggestion of losing the scale - but a big part of me will fight that one. I am such a numbers person AND I have been known in the past when trying to lose weight... to weigh myself a couple of times a day (I know that's bad).

I, personnally, like a scale...I know changing fat to muscle increases weight, but I like to use it to see if the holiday eating has snuck up on me before it gets too out of hand! Of course, probably your clothes will tell on you pretty quickly and maybe more accurately than the scale will!

basil - my husband weighs every day. About 9 years ago he lost 50 pounds - and if he sees the number creeping back up he knows what he needs to do. For him it's worked very well - although sometimes he is a little obsessed.

I'm a scale watcher. It helps me stay on top of those 5-10 pesky "vanity pounds" that will sneak up when you least suspect them and that don't really show up in the fit of your clothes until they're closer to the 10 mark than the 5.

if you feel the need to step on a scale, once a week is sufficient, should always be the same time, the same day, and wearing the same clothes (if any at all), daily provides no benefit because of fluctuations...multiple times per day I think i may recommend you seek professional help

while you're at it, might i suggest you also check your BMI and have a test for your MBR (metabolic burn rate).

even if you use llight weights, you should use weights daily, because muscle burns more fat, and increases your metabolism. Cardio is great, but within 5-10 minutes of finishing cardio, the benefit is over. Muscle is like the furnace and it burns the fat over a longer period of time. you don't need to get big, even long periods of stretching (such as yoga) increases muscles.

I would say the scale thing is a little bit of OCD... or something like that. I have always been that way. Would love to shake it.

Exercise is going to be the hardest at first, because the arthritis pain will be hard to work through. I've tried several times this year and end up quitting... gotta work through it this time... and find the right exercise, like sticking with the treadmill. Going to an step aerobic class was a bad idea!

basil - be careful. I also have RA and when I try to exercise I almost always do way too much.

Try using a free online program like FitDay.com
It has all the regular foods and you can build your own too. So if you eat the same breakfast combo you can pick it and put it on your daily list.
This program shows you both caloric intake and a pie chart of how much carbs, veggies, sugars, etc you ate. I found it a great help in seeing what I needed to steer away from and what I needed more of.

It also has an exercise calculator that lets you see what you're walking and/or exercising off.

And thanks for the poke. I'd gotten lazy about using this and my body knows it. My New Year's resolution is to get back to using it and walking regularly, inspite of the snow!

I would recommend NOT using the scale at first. It can be frustrating because if you are building any muscle at all, you will actually be heavier on the scale. That can be very discouraging when starting out.

I suggest putting the scale away for awhile, work on the eating healthy and developing an exercise plan that you enjoy. Once you start feeling good and notice that the waistband is a little loose, break it back out and go from there.

A friend of mine invented FitBook. www.getfitbook.com It is a small bound book for you to log your physical activity and food intake. It is set up for you to set goals and keep track of those goals. Each book is for 12 weeks. At the beginning of each week you can set your physical activity schedule and go from there. In my opinion the FitBook is very reasonably priced (less than $20). You can purchase them either online, at most 24 hour Fitness locations, and Target.