I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

Dark matter could be a Deadly Killer.
http://www.morningvertical.com/dark-matter-can-be-spotted-though-gps-satellites/244699/

Dark matter causes a wrinkle in the fabric of space-time, and the theory goes that as it passes through places, clocks will go out of sink because of its effects on where the clocks were located in time. So I’m thinking (perhaps my reasoning is quite preposterous) that dark matter could be the cause of some inexplicable accidents. Cars zip straight into other cars, nobody sees it coming because there is a very temporary bend in time localized to that intersection, and someone’s moving car disappeared from 9:42:17 a.m. and reappeared at 9:42:22 a.m., and at that point there was another car passing through the intersection and whammo. The accidentally time-traveling driver wouldn’t know it had happened, as the jump would be sub-instantaneous to him. The other driver would say he had looked and no one was coming, he had a clear path to turn through. Survivors and witnesses could only say “That car came out of nowhere” and would all assume that this was due to its high rate of speed.

I assume someone will make the following joke so I'll go ahead and do so myself: it all depends on whether the driver ever reaches 88 m.p.h., heh.

oh man, this has already happened...my clock is on the wall, not in the sink...

Eww.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/11/14/enterovirus-deaths-paralysis/19040405/

Vlad the Impaler will kill us all

Russia's Vladimir Putin Confirms Military Movement in Response to NATO, US in 'Provoking' New Cold War
Russian President Vladimir Putin claims the West may be provoking" Russia on the road to a new Cold War.

Okay that Enterovirus 68 is actually a serious (though not common) threat. Thus it has no business in this thread. I don't come to this thread to read about legitimate threats to the health of myself or my family.

Sorry not able to respond more quickly, was hiding from that.
http://healthmap.org/site/diseasedaily/article/enterovirus-d68-and-paralysis-10314

Ordinary food.

“It's well known, of course, that certain foods have anti-carcinogenic properties: organosulphur compounds, flavonoids, tannins and carotenoids have been shown to inhibit some forms of cancer. Unfortunately, these anti-carcinogens tend to be found in foods that also contain carcinogens - well-known killers such as broccoli, onions, strawberries and cabbage. Even while these vegetables are preventing you from getting cancer, they are giving you cancer.”
– from Tim Dowling’s somewhat tongue-in-cheek article “Everything gives you cancer” which should be required reading for readers of Everything is Going to Kill Us. http://www.theguardian.com/education/2001/sep/06/medicalscience.healthandwellbeing

Is Tim your brother, CYM?

Home invasion.

grassy knoll

Exercise.

Notwithstanding the above [obvious health benefits of running-CYM], your risk of a heart attack increases by about 7x during the actual minutes and hours of a running workout. When the heart beats harder, it's more likely to suffer an electrical or artery (cholesterol) event than when it rests. Source: Journal of the American Medical Association http://www.runnersworld.com/health/heart-health

::orders new recliner with built in cooler and lifting assist feature::

Fracking, because earthquakes

Texas http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/11/frack...-ft-worth-area/

Ohio http://www.livescience.com/48294-fracking-caused-ohio-earthquakes.html

Colorado http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2014/09...acking-process/

botulism...in cranberry sauce, no less...but a happy death

too much turkey

bad wine

anything else associated with Thanksgiving meals...

Shrimp, maybe, if you're my daughter. She has severe food allergies to a bunch of stuff, mostly tree nuts, but also some seafood. We're just not sure exactly which. We're pretty sure crab can kill her, but we're not sure about shrimp. She ate four shrimp over a 2 hour period in the doctors office without any reaction. So, he wants her to eat five, or maybe six, over a short period to see what happens. So we're going to give her shrimp as an appetizer on Thanksgiving, and then see if we have to set the table for five, or just four.

That's kind of mean. js. At least let her eat dessert first!!

Still a bit early in the holiday season but this reminds me of The Chieftians "St. Stephen's Day Murders."


I knew of two sisters whose name it was Christmas
And one was named Dawn of course, the other one was named Eve
I wonder if they grew up hating the season
The good will that lasts till the Feast of Saint Stephen

For that is the time to eat, drink, and be merry
Till the beer is all spilled and the whiskey has flowed
And the whole family tree you neglected to bury
Are feeding their faces until they explode

There'll be laughter and tears over Tia Marias
Mixed up with that drink made from girders
'Cause it's all we've got left as they draw their last breath
Ah, it's nice for the kids, as you finally get rid of them
In the Saint Stephen's Day Murders

Uncle is garglin' a heart-breaking air
While the babe in his arms pulls out all that remains of his hair
And we're not drunk enough yet to dare criticize
The great big kipper tie he's about to baptize

With his gin-flavoured whiskers and kisses of sherry
His best Crimble shirt slung out over the shop
While the lights from the Christmas tree blow up the telly
His face closes in like an old cold pork chop

And the carcass of the beast left over from the feast
May still be found haunting the kitchen
And there's life in it yet, we may live to regret
When the ones that we poisoned stop twitchin'

There'll be laughter and tears over Tia Marias
Mixed up with that drink made from girders
'Cause it's all we've got left as they draw their last breath
Ah, it's nice for the kids, as you finally get rid of them (rid of them)
In the Saint Stephen's Day Murders


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8fPvODASoI

Jimmy Fallon singing got my tight pants on will kill us all!!

Hopefully you're joking. You could do that Friday, Saturday, anytime but during a holiday, right? I'm sure nobody wants to spend Thanksgiving in the ER. And how much did the doctor's office charge you or your insurance carrier for these shrimp? And where did they get them?

The Bermuda Triangle.

Ticks, because they have the blood of deer in them. Fever, rickets, lyme disease. Ticks s^ck.


Heartland Virus: http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/06/01/d...is-on-the-rise/

Powassan Virus: http://www.news10.com/story/22966845/one-saratoga-resident-died-this-year-from-tick-borne-virus

Full menu: http://www.cdc.gov/ticks/diseases/

No, not joking at all. We got the shrimp at Shop n Save. She had her Benedryl and her Epipen handy. And, no, if she didn't do it when with us for the holiday, she'd be 400 miles away alone in her apartment. She survived. Apparently, she can still eat shrimp, just not crab. Lobster is yet to be tested.

BTW, now that it's been a while, can we admit the CDC DID have the ebola thing under control?