Take the time to take your Dad to a medical supply store to be properly measured for a cane. My mom is really short (4'10"...or so she says. ) Any standard length cane would be way too long for her. Opposite holds true of taller people. There are lots of places to order them online. If your Dad gets to pick one he likes, he might be inclined to use it more too.

This is what chainsaws are for!

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate having this thread. I don't normally post, but reading everyone's experiences is a big help.

My mother-in-law (98) will not eat. A nurse or an aide is nearby at every meal to encourage her, but she puts food in her mouth and then spits it out. She'll only drink those nutritional shakes. She's down to 77 pounds. She used to also eat cake, but now, suddenly, hates cake.

My mother got that way too, brain...It's a really hard thing to watch. The saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink" rings so true. Be glad she WILL drink the nutri shakes at this point.

My Dad ordered one of these for my mom. She tends to lose her equilibrium and due to medication. Can't tell you much more than that, unfortunately, since she refuses to use it. Anyways, her doctor recommended a can with the four prongs instead of a regular cane. They are more stable. Good luck.

I agree with TR on the height of the cane. You want to make sure it fits them properly. My mom has the 4 prong, but my dad has just the straight one.

I have said this before also, it is a great thread to ask questions of others with the same issues or just to air your issues.

My mom falls with some regularity, but refuses to use a cane in her apartment (which is where she falls). She'll sometimes use it when she goes out, but it can be a challenge for her if she's carrying shopping bags, or trying to open a door. Of course she also refuses to consider a walker. <sigh>

Get him one with a sword in it!! (OK, maybe not.)

My MIL continues to deteriorate. It's been hard on my husband.

So sorry, E.G.B.

My MIL passed just two years ago. By then we had moved her to a nursing home near our home so husband could visit more regularly. It was hard on him too. I'm sure you're giving your husband all the support you can. Prayers for continued strength for both of you.

My mom has significant sight issues and although she hasn't lost her driving license yet she is quite heavily restricted on where and when she can go (only a few miles away, only during the day, etc.).

My dad (her boyfriend) is wonderful to drive her anywhere she needs to go and I drive her as much as I can as well, but she's one of those people who refuses to ask for help with anything.

So far she is living at home by herself and mostly doing okay. She and my dad maintain separate houses but he is at her house a lot and I work with her so see her nearly every day.

I love my mom but can see her turning into someone who is really difficult to deal with as they age.

Prayers for you and the family EGB, from just south of you.

jaenelle, refusing to ask for help is a common thing as we age because it's hard to admit that you can't do it all anymore. I can't promise that the light will go on one day and she'll start asking for help 'cause chances are that she won't. Have patience with your mom and just keep doing what you're doing. Come here anytime you need to vent.

I think we're starting that downward cycle of in / out of the hospital with my MIL..... She's back in with a second break to her arm after a fall at the retirement community. She is actually using a walker, but the walker slipped out from her grasp.

I understand EGB. My father is there, too. He spent Thanksgiving 2013 in the hospital for a stent (the day after Thanksgiving), about 2 weeks in the hospital in January 2014 for other heart issues. He was in the hospital about six months ago for pneumonia and then went to rehab for a bit. And he got out of the hospital last Monday for another bout of pneumonia.

My Aunt (Daddy's older sister) is 92 and dying. She holds conversations with her dead siblings, doesn't know anyone around her, and the Doctor's can't do anything for her. They give her morphine to ease the pain but she won't last much longer. My Daddy is 84 and He and Ethel are the last 2 left of 10 kids. He is so depressed. It doesn't help that he's having issues with his kidneys and has the crud right now. His kidneys are functioning at 40% because his high blood pressure hurt them. They are trying to get that under control...

There is nothing I can do to make it better...

{{HUGS}} Walden.

God bless all of you and your parents. It makes me cringe when I read about these older people suffering. I feel so sorry for them.

My MIL was having one of her good days Sunday, other than not hearing. She really had her old sense of humor and had me laughing. We were really worried when the flu went through her wing of the home, but it missed her. She's so tiny and won't eat, so we're afraid for her to get any kind of illness.

My mom has got fluid on her lungs and is on diuretics now. She goes for a heart sonogram on Wednesday and is feeling very depressed, it seems like.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Going up immediately, Jaenelle.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you. My dear mother has passed on, but my father is still living and we are also caring for my in-laws who are both in their 80's with health problems. The way I get thru is just one day at a time. Deal with what I can and take care of myself along the way.

Prayers, jaenelle, and to all who are caring for their elders...

Prayers for all of you dealing with issues with your parents or in-laws now. Gentle ((hugs)) of support to you too.