Was in the kitchen and one of the construction workers was milling about. Didn't feel good about it, pulled up the security cameras when back in my office and watched him reach into the can that has staff's payment for pop in it, and pocket a few bills.

Golly, I needed some more issues to deal with today, glad I got this one!

The wife is prego. If I had a dollar for every time I heard the term "Braxton Hicks", I would be a very wealthy man.

I would have an awesome sailboat by now.

That is all.

My husband would just look at me blankly and say "Higgs-Boson"?

what does a hypothetical type of heavy, electrically neutral particle have to do with preggers. and congrats.

Where can a guy get a drink around here? I thought it was Friday.

One of our ATMs is printing balances of $8,000,000 on all the receipts. Is that a problem?

Yeah, student loan debt builds character.

As for MBH, yeah, what gives?

Oh no not at all. Will it dispense that amount as well, regardless of my actual balance? If so, please provide address..... :-)

Yes, I deposited $10,000,000 you ripoff artist!

$2,000,000 is the processing fee. We don't accept deposits for free you know!

We have an employee who sits down the hall from me and puts everyone on speaker phone. When someone calls he answers Bank's Name, this is (insert his name.)

Since he can see by caller id that it is an internal person calling, you'd think the person calling knows they are calling the bank they work for!

Just drives me nuts!

now, when i say Shazam, you tell me that i'm Glamorous

Love Gomer Pile "Shazam!!"

Similar situation here and it is driving me nuts! She's in an office, yet she won't close her door.

Do we work in the same place?

I worked with someone like that - we had two different "scripts" if it was an internal or external call. She used the external script for everything. But I think she did it on purpose because it aggravated the ever-living daylights out of another co-worker.

I also worked with two employees who sat about 20 feet apart. One would call the other, and both would be on speaker phone. Since I sat in the middle, I could hear the speaker, and also hear them coming through the receiver on the other end. Nice stereo effect.

Someone needs to open a Monday bar... you will find me in the corner, curled up in a ball, maybe even shedding a soft tear.

OK... its not that bad. But I feel like Eeyore "I hate Mondays..."

Monday started good with lots of broken things to fix to keep me busier than normal so the day goes fast but now I got a killer headache. Not a migraine this time but still want to find a cool dark hole till I feel better.

Listening to music on my phone reminds me I have way more Christmas music than any other genre.

Christmas music in April:

[missing BOL musical notes] Oh, the weather outside is frightful way too nice to be stuck indoors! [/missing BOL musical notes]

Rules mean you only look but you cannot touch
Anything more would leave it to chance too much
Now the rules weren't made for breakin
But I'm only askin for 3 seconds
3 seconds on the line I hope it's not askin too much

I know it's early in the season ... but it's looking to be another frustrating season to be a Twins fan.

^^^^This^^^^

This is the year for the Cubs not a cub fan but it is about time.

If Lester keeps pitching that way, good luck to the Cubbies.