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#328678 - 05/16/06 02:55 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Search_Me Offline
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Quote:

nope. Although I now have this other girl calling me all the time, but I am not really interested as she is going through a divorce and she is so lonely. I want to be her friend but I don't want her to think it is more than that.




Gotta be careful... you'll be swept up into that situation if you're not on guard.

I saw the gym guy last night... he was leaving as I was entering... he held the door open for me and we talked for a few minutes... nothing grand... just small talk.
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#328679 - 05/16/06 03:34 PM Re: Dating Troubles
ThePaul Offline
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ThePaul
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,374
Dallas, TX
Okay, well I have an issue right now that has really been bothering me... Its about the girl that I have been dating for a little over a month (yes, the girl I mentioned on this thread who I met on myspace lol). Well, basically I made a mistake and agreed to go exclusive with her a couple weeks ago which was obviously way too soon to take this step after only a couple weeks of dating about twice a week. Recently I've realized that the only reason I went along with this when it was brought up was because I had completely convinced myself that we were such a perfect fit just because thats what I wanted to beleive. Because of other things that were going on with me (I'm not going to go into details), I was just in a position where I really wanted to have somebody and not be single anymore and when I got the kind of attention that I got from this girl I just latched onto it I guess... She quite often told me things like "I'm so lucky to have met you", "I've never met a guy like you before" and "I don't think I deserve you" and it just felt so good to hear these things that I convinced myself that I felt the same way about her. Now I'm not going to say that I think I could do "better" because I dont think its a case of "better" or "worse", just that I dont think were completely right for eachother. I'm considering telling her that I think I just want to be friends, but I still havent made any final decisions with what I want to do because I do like her but just not nearly as much as I thought and I dont want to lead her on and let her get even more attached. Any advice?
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#328680 - 05/16/06 04:14 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Beige Offline
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Beige
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,950
If you haven't made any final decisions, give yourself a bit of time to figure out how you're actually feeling. I think sometimes, especially when things start real quick, it's normal to need to step back and look at the situation again.

You can tell her exactally how you're feeling about the situation though. Very hard. However, regardless of how things turn out (together or not)you're being true to yourself and to her. You don't have to tell her that you want to break things off, just tell her that you're having concerns regarding...whatever. But, be prepared for her to end things if "up in the air" isn't what she's looking for right now.
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#328681 - 05/16/06 04:25 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Search_Me Offline
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Search_Me
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,433
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Aw, Paul... I knew you couldn't stop thinking of me... and now this proves it... you want to end things with her so we can go on that date we had planned... Just teasing...

All kidding aside... not sure how "close" the two of you have gotten... but I say it's really time for you to communicate these feelings to her.. before getting to involved. Not saying to break up... but just maybe talk and add some space between the two of you. Just tell her what your feeling ... be open and honest with her... it'd be better that you hurt her feelings now... than to let things go on and then hurt her by saying I just don't think we are right for one another... etc.

Feel free to PM me if ya want someone to talk to or just listen...
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#328682 - 05/16/06 04:46 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Anonymous
Unregistered

This is post #3379 in this thread.

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#328683 - 05/18/06 01:27 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Texas Boy Offline
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,717
Any updates Search? Yeah, I'm calling you out!
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#328684 - 05/18/06 01:42 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Beige Offline
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Beige
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,950
Wondering about Xodus updates too!
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#328685 - 05/18/06 01:58 PM Re: Dating Troubles
ThePaul Offline
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ThePaul
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,374
Dallas, TX
Oh, btw I just noticed I never said thanks for the advice on my issue a couple days ago... Thanks FG and Search (For all the extra advice on the side too Search )
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#328686 - 05/18/06 02:02 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Search_Me Offline
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Search_Me
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,433
In my Strappy Heeled Sandals!
Quote:

Any updates Search? Yeah, I'm calling you out!




LOL...haven't seen him since Monday... when we exchanged a few words... no worries... ya can call me out anytime ya feel like it...
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#328687 - 05/18/06 02:03 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Search_Me Offline
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Search_Me
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,433
In my Strappy Heeled Sandals!
Quote:

Wondering about Xodus updates too!




He hasn't been able to catch up with her....
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#328688 - 05/18/06 02:04 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Search_Me Offline
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Search_Me
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,433
In my Strappy Heeled Sandals!
Quote:

Oh, btw I just noticed I never said thanks for the advice on my issue a couple days ago... Thanks FG and Search (For all the extra advice on the side too Search )




Anytime Paul... anytime...
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#328689 - 05/18/06 02:35 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Beige Offline
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Beige
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,950
Quote:

Oh, btw I just noticed I never said thanks for the advice on my issue a couple days ago... Thanks FG and Search (For all the extra advice on the side too Search )




Anytime Have you decided anything at this point?
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#328690 - 05/24/06 02:18 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Search_Me Offline
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Search_Me
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,433
In my Strappy Heeled Sandals!
Maybe this will help us gals understand the men we encounter...


The Guys' Rules--------------------------

At last, a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally: the guys'
side of the story.

We always hear "the rules"
from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one makes you sad or
angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
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#328691 - 05/24/06 03:43 PM Re: Dating Troubles
strongbad Offline
Gold Star
strongbad
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 365
Arkansas
Quote:

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!





This doesn't actually work. I tell him exactly what i want and he tries to convince me that i want something else. for example.. this weekend I was visiting him and we were in the car and I asked if I could put in a david bowie CD and he put in a queen Cd and said "you'll enjoy this more", like I haven't heard it before, i knew what i wanted.. if id wanted the queen cd i would have said queen cd... ANNOYING!!
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#328692 - 05/24/06 03:57 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Dan Persfull Online
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Dan Persfull
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 47,765
Bloomington, IN
Us guys from Pocahontas wouldn't do that.....you'd got to listen to your David Bowie cd.......


(Actually....if you believe that....I have some ocean front property in Arizona for sale....... )
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The opinions expressed are mine and they are not to be taken as legal advice.

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#328693 - 05/24/06 04:44 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Search_Me Offline
Power Poster
Search_Me
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,433
In my Strappy Heeled Sandals!
Quote:

Quote:

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!





This doesn't actually work. I tell him exactly what i want and he tries to convince me that i want something else. for example.. this weekend I was visiting him and we were in the car and I asked if I could put in a david bowie CD and he put in a queen Cd and said "you'll enjoy this more", like I haven't heard it before, i knew what i wanted.. if id wanted the queen cd i would have said queen cd... ANNOYING!!




Hmm... seems these are warning signs... not to be overlooked... if he is this set on you listening to a cd after you requested another... what else does he think he can control...etc...
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#328694 - 05/24/06 04:58 PM Re: Dating Troubles
strongbad Offline
Gold Star
strongbad
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 365
Arkansas
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!





This doesn't actually work. I tell him exactly what i want and he tries to convince me that i want something else. for example.. this weekend I was visiting him and we were in the car and I asked if I could put in a david bowie CD and he put in a queen Cd and said "you'll enjoy this more", like I haven't heard it before, i knew what i wanted.. if id wanted the queen cd i would have said queen cd... ANNOYING!!




Hmm... seems these are warning signs... not to be overlooked... if he is this set on you listening to a cd after you requested another... what else does he think he can control...etc...




oh believe me... he knows who's boss when it comes to the important things...
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Some say I am too dark, but I really have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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#328695 - 05/24/06 05:05 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Anonymous
Unregistered

Ok, i am going anonymous on this because its kind of personal. I am having trouble with my boyfriend and i just need to either vent or get a second opinion. This person is the most wonderful person i have ever met and i wouldnt trade him for the world. He has been really stressed lately and intern have been reacting to that to me. He gets really upset at the drop of a hat and i know its not him (this has never happened before.) I just don't know how to fix this or maybe i cant fix this at all?? Also, he had a conversation with his ex gf yesterday, which makes me extremely uneasy, although he saved the convo and let me read it- - it was harmless. BUT it still bothered me. I am just not sure what i should do...

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#328696 - 05/24/06 05:25 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Beige Offline
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Beige
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,950
How long have you been together?
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“Where words fail, music speaks.” - Hans Christian Andersen

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#328697 - 05/24/06 06:23 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Search_Me Offline
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Search_Me
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,433
In my Strappy Heeled Sandals!
Quote:

Ok, i am going anonymous on this because its kind of personal. I am having trouble with my boyfriend and i just need to either vent or get a second opinion. This person is the most wonderful person i have ever met and i wouldnt trade him for the world. He has been really stressed lately and intern have been reacting to that to me. He gets really upset at the drop of a hat and i know its not him (this has never happened before.) I just don't know how to fix this or maybe i cant fix this at all?? Also, he had a conversation with his ex gf yesterday, which makes me extremely uneasy, although he saved the convo and let me read it- - it was harmless. BUT it still bothered me. I am just not sure what i should do...




simple... Communicate with him... express to him that you're concerned about things that might be bothering him... try to discuss the issues you've noticed that have changed lately... BE OPEN and HONEST... but not BRUTAL... he might just be going through a rough time... and feels he can't release what's inside. Men... ya know... they try to hide every emotion... unless it can be transformed into anger...for fear we might find them to be a "sissy."
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#328698 - 05/24/06 06:32 PM Re: Dating Troubles
~~~izzo~~~ Offline
Platinum Poster
~~~izzo~~~
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 513
NY
Quote:

Ok, i am going anonymous on this because its kind of personal. I am having trouble with my boyfriend and i just need to either vent or get a second opinion. This person is the most wonderful person i have ever met and i wouldnt trade him for the world. He has been really stressed lately and intern have been reacting to that to me. He gets really upset at the drop of a hat and i know its not him (this has never happened before.) I just don't know how to fix this or maybe i cant fix this at all?? Also, he had a conversation with his ex gf yesterday, which makes me extremely uneasy, although he saved the convo and let me read it- - it was harmless. BUT it still bothered me. I am just not sure what i should do...




Myself, I'd probably ask if there is anything I can do to help ease the stress level. Offer to be there for support then back off and give him space. If you start pushing for too many answers, he may start accusing you of adding to the stress level. I don't know. Thats my take on it, anyway. Good luck
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Fake it. ~~~fur is dead~~~

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#328699 - 05/24/06 08:22 PM Re: Dating Troubles
Anonymous
Unregistered

Quote:

Quote:

Ok, i am going anonymous on this because its kind of personal. I am having trouble with my boyfriend and i just need to either vent or get a second opinion. This person is the most wonderful person i have ever met and i wouldnt trade him for the world. He has been really stressed lately and intern have been reacting to that to me. He gets really upset at the drop of a hat and i know its not him (this has never happened before.) I just don't know how to fix this or maybe i cant fix this at all?? Also, he had a conversation with his ex gf yesterday, which makes me extremely uneasy, although he saved the convo and let me read it- - it was harmless. BUT it still bothered me. I am just not sure what i should do...




Myself, I'd probably ask if there is anything I can do to help ease the stress level. Offer to be there for support then back off and give him space. If you start pushing for too many answers, he may start accusing you of adding to the stress level. I don't know. Thats my take on it, anyway. Good luck




Its driving me crazy, but i love him enough to put up with it. Hopefully when things get to be normal again this won't continue. I think it's worse than a girl. He is just emotional right now, but we talked, and hopefully things will be better. I just told him that i am here for him no matter what and that he doesn't need to push me away. Thanks for that.

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#328700 - 05/29/06 04:30 PM Re: Dating Troubles
ThePaul Offline
Diamond Poster
ThePaul
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,374
Dallas, TX
Okay, so my little dilemma that I was in where I wasnt sure what I wanted to do with my gf got solved for me... She moved, and the worst part is that I didnt even find out that she moved until a few days later when she sent out a bulletin on her myspace that she was now living in college station lol... No worries though that wasnt gonna last much longer anyway and this way there is no speech required to break it off
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#328701 - 05/30/06 05:00 AM Re: Dating Troubles
Search_Me Offline
Power Poster
Search_Me
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,433
In my Strappy Heeled Sandals!
Quote:

Okay, so my little dilemma that I was in where I wasnt sure what I wanted to do with my gf got solved for me... She moved, and the worst part is that I didnt even find out that she moved until a few days later when she sent out a bulletin on her myspace that she was now living in college station lol... No worries though that wasnt gonna last much longer anyway and this way there is no speech required to break it off




Remember what I had told ya when we were talking.. crazy.. but at least ya don't have to worry about it any longer... now ya gonna have to find another myspace chick and see what happens...
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#328702 - 05/30/06 01:27 PM Re: Dating Troubles
ThePaul Offline
Diamond Poster
ThePaul
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,374
Dallas, TX
Well before I go back to myspace to meet someone I've got a couple other people in mind
But that might have to wait until after the NBA playoffs are over in a little over a week because with working 7 days a week, watching basketball basically every night and still having to make time to work out and such I dont have a ton of extra time...
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