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Divorced earlier this year and having re-entered the dating scene, I thought I would resurrect this thread to share some 2007 Dating Resolutions with the rest of our single BOLers. (Note: men should substitute she/her where it says he/him - or not)

Focus on today
Take things one step at a time, one day at a time. If you start looking toward or thinking about next week, next month or next year, you'll feel overwhelmed.

Let go of needing to know what's going to happen between the two of you. Focusing on the finish line is what keeps so many of us from enjoying the process of life. You can't control what he does or doesn't do. And letting his actions determine your emotions is turning you into a bystander in your own life. So let go and leave the future of the relationship up to the fates. Take back your energy, trust in yourself and get ready for the next adventure in your life, which may or may not include him.

Close the door. Don't fall into yo-yo love. Let it be over. If he keeps calling to say you should give it one more chance, or that he has someone new but wants to stay friends, don't bite. Cut him loose and celebrate the new, improved, I won't-settle-for-anything-less-than-a-great-guy you.

I will learn to say "next!"
Plain and simple, the world is full of men. Men are like city buses: If you miss one, there will always be another. I decided that, from now on, I would not assign any man too much meaning too early on. I am not going to worry that I won't find "it" again. I will not worry that I'll end up in a rocking chair surrounded by cats and empty wine bottles. I will remember that there will always be another.

I will expect more and tolerate less
I'm not talking about princessy stuff here, like buying me dinner or calling by Tuesday if he wants to see me on Saturday. I'm talking about basic good treatment. Like following through with plans. Or being aware of my feelings. You know, common consideration. And when common consideration is breached? Next!

I will get busy
Because men are wired differently and may as well live in a different time zone, playing the "why hasn't he called?" game is a guaranteed express trip to Crazytown. Why hasn't he called? Who knows? But I do know that I should be too busy to worry about it. Untapped potential was like my emotional saddlebags — unattractive even if no one noticed it but me. I resolved to make plans, resurrect my hobbies and spend my time doing and thinking and being. If he calls, great! If not, I will be way too occupied with all my fabulous self-fulfillment to notice.

I will lighten up
The pursuit and maintenance of coupling may have made me do surprising things, but even more astounding was what it made me forget. I am pretty damn awesome. I am funny and talented, and I look pretty smokin' in jeans and stilettos. Getting caught up in the worry of trying to please a man, and working overtime to postpone an inevitable breakup is a huge time-waster. And a killjoy. A man's opinion of me is not more important that my own opinion of myself, so I shouldn't take it so seriously. I will remember to laugh more, worry less and like who I am — man or no man — and to redirect some of that energy into pleasing myself.

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Actually, truth be told, I prefer cowboy boots and jeans...on myself and on a good-looking 'cowboy'!

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Girl... I hear ya on the "cowboy" part...something about a man in those jeans and hat... OMG...gotta stop now..

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This definitely applies to men too.. except that I dont think I'd look very smokin' in stilettos...

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Don't let him fool you... the day we went skydiving...he was wearing a pair of sexy black stilettos.

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This definitely applies to men too.. except that I dont think I'd look very smokin' in stilettos...

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Don't let him fool you... the day we went skydiving...he was wearing a pair of sexy black stilettos.

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That was supposed to be our little secret!!

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Can't get this "visual" outta my head!!

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All I will say is, sometimes it's better to alone and lonely, then together and miserable.

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All I will say is, sometimes it's better to alone and lonely, then together and miserable.

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Its even better to be alone but not lonely. I've been single for a long time but I'm rarely lonely. I have good friends a close family and I actually like being with myself. I have found that the more comfortable I am with myself, the more I'm likely to meet someone special.

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