Liposuction.

...a procedure which should be performed on the CFR continuously.

Being kissed by a toilet bowl plunger.

Prostate exam or bank exam? Which is more pleasant?

Are they really all that different?

What's the difference? They both got someone trying to stick it up your _ _ _!

While health insurance plans have long been cut back drastically all over the country, the self-funded insurance of the county employees of Niagara County, N.Y., reimbursed more than $1.25 million since 1999 for its workers' purely cosmetic face peels, breast implants and liposuction; taxpayers finally realized what was going on when property taxes shot up by 20 percent this year.

Opposite of HIPAAsuction

You HOEPA they do a good job on your HIPAAsuction so you can go home and RESPA!

Ha ha ha. A few members of my family are big on puns, I wish I could share this one but no one else would see the humor in it. It's just no fun to be the only one laughing at a joke you told. This place is great.

I know what you mean. I come home with tons of banker jokes, and the Old Man just doesn't get 'em.

Maybe you should catch yourself a "younger" one!!

I don't want to have to break another one in. This one has lasted me 23 years, and I almost got him just right!

Women are eternal optimists. (Isn't that someone who cannot see clearly?)

It's been 23 years and he's only ALMOST broken in right?? Holy cow, I have a long ways to go- I'm only on 3 years.

I pity my poor wife of 11 months - think of time it's going to take her - plus she needs to retrain me after several other trainers that I have had in the past have failed.

They don't have an instant graemlin for sleepy. I woke up at 8:20 this morning. (I leave the house at 8:30) Dang alarms. Yes I have two and neither one went off this morning.

I've got you beat! I've got three alarms set. I'm really good at hitting snooze on all of them and going right back to sleep!

You guys are really opening my eyes!!! My 16 year old regularly sleeps through his alarm - now I know one isn't enough! Shopping for him for Christmas just got easier!

Also you've got to keep them on the other side of the room so that you actually have to get out of bed to hit snooze. Not that that helps me, I can still go right back to sleep. I usually hit snooze about 10 to 15 times before I actually get up.

I always wondered about those "alarm" clocks that are lights. The light gets brighter minute by minute to simulate the sunrise and wake you up more peacefully. A "kinder and gentler" clock. Yea, right. That'll get me up.

I keep pushing the snooze on my alarm but since she is only 7 months old it seems to make her louder.

The proper snooze button for this is an elbow to someone laying next to you followed either by "your turn" or "oh, please do this one for me, I'll get you anything you want in the morning".

I have three alarms that are similar to the 7 month old, but not quite as important (but close). A 2 1/2 year old beagle, a 1 1/2 year old airedale, and a 1 year old dachshund mix. There have been many mornings that I'll hit the snooze on the alarm clock, only to have one dog barking and one more licking me three minutes later. Meanwhile, my wife (who insists on having the dogs in the house) sleeps peacefully through the ruckus. She has me trained fairly well after only 1 1/2 years.