Perhaps you like the ones who don't speak English, because then you're not bored with conversation.




What percentage of customers at your bank are complete tools?

100

How many people in your office would you consider having sex with?

None

Why are my nails so dirty?

Because of the dust in your keyboard.




Do you know you can use vodka as a soak for cleaning diamonds?

I'm not certain. Were you doing any gardening?

Does anyone else want to hear more italian?

Gardening at lunch?

What are you thinking about right now?

Italian? I thought it was latin -- I was ready to call an exorcist.

Having limoncello. It won't be ready for another 2 months.



Does anyone else make their own liquor infusions?

Is drinking vodka all night a form of liquor infusion?

I don't think so.

Do you grind your own coffee beans?

Yes

Would you make coffee for me in the morning if I stayed the night?

You don't need my help, if you can do it yourself.

Of course I would make coffe for a guest.

If I didn't make coffee, wouldn't that be rude?

No, because I don't drink coffee.




Do you have a fridge full of leftovers?

I do have quite a few.

Are you tired of eating leftovers?

Yes! Gimme some fresh meat!





Do you need to wash your car?

No, did it yesterday.

Did you shave your legs today?

Nope, wore slacks so I was lazy this morning

Do you wash your hair every day?

yes, let it dry naturally, takes about 5 minutes to dry

do you let the conditioner stay in your hair a full 5 minutes?

Yes, or have it applied towards a future license.





Do you ever find yourself wondering, "Where has all the love gone?"?

Sometimes

Where do you think the love went?

To the Mint. Out of the diamond mines. Being pumped from an oil well. If it doesn't have a price tag on it these days, does it really matter?

if it doesn't have a price tag, it matters more.

how are you celebrating the new month?