So it would probably be more accurate to say that an individual employed by Chuck E Cheese discriminated against a handicapped person, right? I mean, I doubt this is in their HR manual.

I agree that positive reinforcement rather than punishment works for some children, but isn't that what parents are for, to discern what works??

I can only relate a story that happened when my child was in elementary school. A six year old had some "problems" but was being "main streamed". It was recess and the kids were told to come in. He refused. A mother who volunteered to assist at recess gently put her hand on his back and he halled off, slugged her in the eye, broke her glasses and gave her a black eye. 6 YEARS OLD!!!!!!! I don't agree with the handcuffs, but these little kids can do damage. Fortunately he was "school of choice" at our school so they were able to kick him out.

The police were called AFTER the school police told the principal that they were too busy and she would have to wait.

In the video the child is slapping...you know how little girls sort of wave their arms in front of them with that sort of paddling motion? I would not have feared for my safety, and I'm a great deal closer in size to her than these women were. In addition, they taunted her in the classroom, telling her she'd made the room unsafe for other children, etc. This is not how children should be handled. The other thing they did was to film the child and not turn the camera off. A great comment made in the story was from a child psychologist who said that the events were exacerbated by the fact that the child knew she was being filmed. Children act up in front of a camera. She hid her face a few times and tried to get away and the camera operator kept following her around. She turned and twisted to get away and the camera stayed. If I were completely peeved, and I'm a bit more able to hide that I'd be awfully difficult if a camera didn't get out of my face when I told them to.

It would be nice if schools had some balance with discipline, I agree, but cuffing a kid who has calmed down is not the answer.

Good point Dawnie, I didn't think about the fact that the camera made the situation much worse. I just can't come to terms with handcuffing a 5 year old child, especially when she was calm when the police got there. All they had to do was wait for the mother. If that had been my child, I'm not sure that I would not take some type of action against the school and the police. She was not "slugging", she was doing the little girl swat . Anyone that has been around small kids sees that all the time and it rarely does any damage. Just my opinion, as a mother.

I am a former police officer abeit, many years ago, and never was placed in this situation. Times have changed, though.

The reason police officers use handcuffs is to protect themselves and the accused/suspect. I cannot say whether or not use was warranted in this situation because I was not there.

I can tell you than when violent people are taken into custody it is in everyones interest that handcuffs are used.

Had the police not done this and the child had resorted to violence that had been exhibited, what would the press be reporting when three or four police officers tried to subdue her? I can tell you from first hand experience, that someone who does not want to be handcuffed, no matter the size of the person, can put up a tremendous struggle.


This is a no-win situation for the cops. They were called to do a job and they did it with the tools that they have been trained to use.

Guess I'm on the 'spare the rod, spoil the child' side of this one. I don't advocate spanking but I do advocate discipline.

And I don't buy into it being harder to raise children now than it was then either. It's different, yes. But each generation faces it's own set of difficulties and believe me, we all think our's is/was the toughest ever.

Too many children today think tv and computers and all the rest are their right. And their parents think their little angels can do no wrong and they'll sue if anyone opposes that view.

Now, before you jump on me, I did not say EVERY child or EVERY parent is this way. I will say that apparently way too many are this way and it is affecting society in a very negative way.

I guess I must be older than most of you or something, because if my child wasn't obeying, out of control, etc. I feel he would deserve whatever he got. Handcuffs, spanking, whatever. Not obeying is not an option.

And he would get consequences when he got home too. Not necessarily spanking but his privledges would certainly be curtailed for a considerable length of time. Writing "I will obey my teachers" about 100 times is another time-honored 'cure' in my household. Positive reinforcement for good behavior works wonders also. Wonder what this girl's mom did besides hire a lawyer?

Children have to learn there are consequences for every action - whether it be a good consequence for good behavior or a bad consequence for bad behavior. This is the way the life is.

Parenting is the most difficult task any human will ever undertake. We don't know a lot about this mother or the situation. We can only speculate - 1) the child is spoiled with NO discipline at home or a bad role model at home or 2) the child is troubled. Teachers have enough to deal with in the classroom without having to deal with disturbed children. The 4 year old son of one of my friends was being bullied at school by another troubled 4-year old. My friend brought this to the attention of the school yet they did nothing. One day that troubled 4 year old stabbed my friend's son on the playground with a fork. Why was that troubled and violent child left in a classroom with the other children? The Parents might sue because they felt their child had a "right" to a main-stream education. I disagree with those parents - their child's rights end where the other children's right begin - their right to an education without fear of violence. I think we try too hard to mainstream these children when they should be taught in a separate classroom by teachers who are specially trained to deal with their behaviour disorders until such time as the children have learned appropriate behaviours and can control themselves.

Somewhere in the reports I heard about this, I also understood the mother had been phoned, but did not arrive before things escalated.

Okay, I read the first page and that is all. I have not read the article and will not.

The police have no business here and as an officer, I would be extremely angry if I was called away to respond to this. Why was the parent not called (or was she)? Is the parent also out of control? If that is the case, shouldn't DHS be called?

If it were my kid, I'd be raging....then I'd take up the matter with my kid.

I don't believe in lawsuits as a matter of expression...it seems too many people abuse the court system to make a point. But, you can bet that the school would be punished for this, if I were involved.

What a load of BS.

I did not read the article either, Fraud Pup, was she hand-cuffed for wearing a pin about her vagina?

This is a tough situation with many sides to it. I have a "troubled" child myself. The police have been called multiple times, to protect him as well as the school staff. I also have a very good relationship with the school. I understand, and accept, that my child is troubled and the school staff knows how I feel about their treatment of him. I have arrived at school to find the principal sitting on the floor bear hugging my child, holding in his arms. This was elementary school. He was out of control and she did not want him to run away or to hurt himself or anyone else. She told me later that she was worried about what she was doing but was comfortable enough with me to take the chance. Had it been another child with a less involved, understanding parent she could have been in a lot of trouble. I was grateful that she held him down until I could get there 10 minutes later.

When he started middle school I again established relationships with the staff there and a male administrator did the same thing again but was barely able to hold onto him and my son actually hurt him trying to get away. The gentleman was worried that if he got away he would hurt himself, and he was probably right. He also stated that he only did this because he thought it was the best course of action and also thought I would allow it. I am grateful to them both for taking this risk with my son, they were right to trust in me. Unfortunately, a lot of parents would be quick to sue for their "inappropriate" actions. Now my son is larger, too big to hold down. Now they, and I, must call the police when he gets out of hand.

Now, my son is bi-polar. This is not my fault, not because I did not punish him or because I spoiled him. My only fault here is carrying the genes that did this to him. I have tried everything I could think of, every thing the school could think of and everything his multiple doctors and counselors have thought of...nothing works...yet. We are still trying and will keep trying, he turns 13 this year.

As for the school owing children a main stream education, they do NOT. The school system owes the children AN education. My son is now in a self contained classroom, four kids and three teachers. This barely suffices for my son and he HATES it. But, it is the best the school system can do for him and I appreciate it.

The school system is not perfect, the police are not perfect, our children are not perfect and I for one am definitely not a perfect mother! However, we all keep trying to do the best we can.

Did all of the adults in this situation do the best that they could, no. However, we do not know what this child is normally like, how her mother handles these situations or what would happen next if she were not detained. I personally think the handcuffs were a bit much, but I was not there.

Sorry for the rant, but I have dealt with this for many years and come across many prejudices against my son and I. We really are doing the best that we can and would do anything that would help and the police here in our county have been great.

No rant to apologize for. You've offered another side of the coin and it is appreciated.

Unfortunately, the press had a field day with this incident but they left out the contributing issues...probably because it would have diminished the effect.

Rie A - great post. People (including myself) tend to see a unruly child and assume bad parenting, but there are things that can influence behavior beyond the control of the parent. Thanks for reminding us of that.

That being said, I applaud your attitude towards the school and police. You understand the motives behind their actions. Unfortunately, many people in this country don't share your attitude. Even if they are trying to do the right thing for the child, parents ignore motive and focus on the actions. Their child could not be responsible for anything that might have provoked the actions taken, and immediately resort to law suits. Unfortunately, that is the state of this country. In most cases, I cannot fault the school for calling the police.

ZD

It sounds like you are in a extraordinary school system that is working hard with you because they know you are working hard for your son. Your son is in an ideal setting where he can learn without the fear of harming himself or harming others. No doubt his teachers are trained to help him in ways that other classroom teachers are not. It takes a special gift to work with physically or emotionally handicapped children. We have a school here that is dedicated to helping educate these children and many of my friends are teachers there. The stories they tell..... It makes a big difference in the child's success when the parents are fully involved.

So those who feel this was overboard, what would you have suggested? Maybe you think we should all sit down with children who attack people and ask them, "How does it make you feel?"

So let me get this straight. You can't yell at your children (verbal abuse) and you can't discipline them by spanking (abuse yet again). Now you can't restrain children? For those worried about this girl being scared of police for the rest of her life, what is her opinion of them going to be now? Her mother is saying, "If they do anything you don't like, just sue them." She is taking away their authority.

I'm just waiting for this to turn into a race issue...

In Texas, there was a major lawsuit that had huge implications in the mental health care arena. It involved a mentally ill patient who was forcibly held down by 5 large men. I think they injured him. What was lost in the reporting was that this man had incredible strenght. For instance, he had been given a pair of Levis to wear and with his bare hands tore them to shreds. Have you ever tried to tear a pair of jeans to shreds with your bare hands. The point is that each incident is unique and you can't judge it from media reports.