Thanks, Shemp - I'm so picked on - but, who cares - not me.

Now here's a plan:

BUSH SELLS LOUISIANA BACK TO FRANCE

Disassociated Press Dateline Baton Rouge, LA 26 September 2005

The White House announced today that President Bush has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original purchase price of $11,250,000.

"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America will be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French Prime Minister Jacques [“Jack”] Chirac as we re-solidify the unbreakable bonds between our 2 countries.

Toothy, beaming, ever-grinning Jack Chicory Chalk Chirac Chirac graciously accepted the offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash."

The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.

"Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said Bush.

"He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot of work to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're gonna fix it."

The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of Louisiana.

"Shuba-pie!" said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. "Frafer-perly yum kom drabby sham!" – which is Cajun French for who knows what?

President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by Republicans – and deplored by Democrats who lost a vast voter base.

"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President," said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and billions of dollars rebuilding the State of Louisiana, we've just made 25 million dollars in pure profit."

"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. "Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made money on the deal. Plus, when the French are done fixing it up, we can easily invade and take it back again."

The money gained from "The Louisiana Refund" is expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.

Well, X might not have the greatest polls around, but I think he is the undisputed king of (copyrighted) avatars. They're pretty awesome.

I totally agree Random. They are awesome. He also has some great jokes too (which I wish he posted more of).

There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use.

They are as follows:


11. "What the @#$% do you mean, we are sinking?"

-- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912


10. "What the @#$% was that?"

-- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945


9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"

-- Custer, 1877


8. "Who the @#$% cares if I'm wrong?
There'll be no one left to judge me."

-- Einstein, 1938


7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"

-- Picasso, 1926


6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?"

-- Pythagoras, 126 BC


5. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"

-- Michelangelo, 1566


4. "Where the @#$% are we?"

-- Amelia Earhart, 1937


3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"

-- Noah, 4314 BC


2. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"

-- Bill Clinton, 1998


and a drum roll please............!

1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @%#*^ing mad.
Bush is not like Clinton. I think this is the end."

-- Uday Hussein, 2003
________

Three drunks are standing on top of the Empire State Building.

The first one says to the other two, "You know, it's a funny thing about these wind currents. A person could jump off of this building right now and not even hit the ground; the wind would carry him right back up to the top of the building!"

The second drunk says, "You're crazy!"

The first drunk says, "I'm serious! Watch!" The first drunk jumps off of the building, and the wind carries him right back up to the top!

The second drunk says, "Let me try!"

So the second drunk leaps off of the building and promptly falls to the street below, landing with a hideous SPLAT!

The first drunk smiles, clearly amused. The third drunk looks at him and says, "You know, Superman, you can be a real Jerk When you're drunk!"
_____

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call 4 Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
_____

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

Classic never heard that one

Speaking of Avatar's, can anyone see mine?

ahoooo! thats aweful (but I can't stop watching!)

Pix

OK because it worked when I was at home, but it just comes up as a big X now.

Before I left the Cooler I thought everyone agreed the best way to handle Mr. X....P....Ray was to ignore him and not feed his fire. What happened? All the insults in this post makes me sick.....OK X P retaliation time!